On Sunday I started bleeding again so back on bed rest I went and today is suppose to be my last day hopefully. I am just waiting for a call back from Dr. Hall. I have a few banks I need to run to later so hopefully I get the ok to be up and about.
I can already tell this boy is going to be trouble. He comes by it honestly. Have you met Taylor? :)
I am so grateful for my sweet girl, Maec. Today we were sitting on my bed after I finished doing her hair and she takes the brush and moves behind me and starts brushing my hair and peeks around and laughs. Then she grabs my neck from behind and gives me a big hug. Children are the most amazing blessing. I learn so much from Maecie. She can sure push my buttons but she can also melt my heart.
I'm so grateful to be a mother. To be a mother that gets to stay at home with my kids. Grateful that I can do my work at nap time and bedtime.
I have so much gratitude in my heart. Partly because it's The holiday season coming up and partly because of trials I see others going through. On October 19, my friend and I both had terrible days but fortunately my day wasn't the nightmare hers was. I pray her and her family have comfort in this trial. I'm grateful for her positive attitude and example she has been through this.
Yesterday after noon I started bleeding and passing large clots and so my Dr. sent me for an ultrasound. I couldn't help but be emotionally overwhelmed when I talked to my Dr. I had to wake Maecie up from her nap and take her to Taylor. I was so worried but I said a prayer as I walked in for the ultrasound and I had a sense of peace come over me as soon as I saw him on the monitors. Our little guy looks good. They are unable to determine where the bleeding is coming from. The whole ultrasound we could watch my contractions just one upon another. I had terrible contractions all night, but today they are not as intense thank goodness. So I am on bed rest for a few days and I go back tomorrow for a check up. Hopefully I won't be on bed rest too much longer. With a 20 month old bed rest isn't too easy! Thankfully Maec LOVES Mickey Mouse Club House. I can't lift her much so we are camped out on the couch watching TV and playing on the Ipad. Thank you modern technology!
I will try to get caught up on my blogging the next few days and load the pictures from our ultrasounds.Also, I have so many pictures from the last few months that I need to document.
BOY!
We had our ultrasound a few weeks ago. I was pretty shocked we are having a boy, I thought we were having a girl for sure. I was way off.
I haven't put on the blog yet but I am due March 5.
This pregnancy has been so much harder than with Maecie so far. I have been incredibly sick this time around. I'm glad Maecie has been so good band has made that partveasier on me. I'm feeling quite a bit better now. I still puke when I brush my teeth. The nausea has calmed down so much from what it was thankfully.
I am glad to have one of each just to have the pressure off.
Maecie is quite the little sassy pants lately. We are in for some years of fun with this girl! We have to make sure she has pants on at ALL times or she takes her diaper off and goes streaking and if you are not paying attention she pees on your foot. She still has the most hilarious laugh on earth. She makes life so joyous. Our house would be so boring without her. She LOVES babies. She will be such a great big sister.
If heaven wasn't so far away, I would pack up Maecie and take her to see Grandpa Dean today. I miss dad. I always miss dad but sometimes days are harder. I will hear a song on the radio in the car and just break down. Some days I'm fine.
August will be 5 years since he passed on. One part of me feels that day just happened a couple weeks ago and the other part of me feels like it was SO long ago. I can remember the last day I spent with him and my siblings. Him putting his arm around me saying "love you sis."
The night he died I didn't talk about for a very long time. It was so hard. Calling 911, watching them load him on the stretcher, calling Grandma and Grandpa telling them Dad was going to be taken to the hospital, the drive with the kids to the hospital, the Dr. telling me he didn't make it, dealing with the kids when he told us, calling Shalay and having to be the one who told her. Watching Jason, Mitch, Lexie, Coleson, Grandma, Grandpa all at the hospital saying goodbye to Dad. By far the hardest, worst, scariest time of my life. I hope not to have to deal with anything like that again. But I know I will. Death is a part of life. We all have to die. I understand the plan of salvation, but sometimes I just have to sit down and cry. It makes me feel better after.
What I wouldn't give to go back to 5 years back and just have an extra 10 minuets with him and tell him how grateful I am for him. All he has given me. Taught me how to work. Taught me to be honest. Taught me so many things in my life. He was able to give me and each of us 6 kids so much love and support.
I miss how my family used to be. Dad, Shalay and us 6 kids at the dinner table. Having BBQ's out back of the house. What I wouldn't give to do that with him and Maecie.
I miss Mitch, Lexie and Cole. Part of my heart is in Arizona with them. I hate missing football games, basketball games, volleyball games, dance performances.
I miss Jason. I don't get to see him often while he is in pocatello and he got a job there so he will stay there all summer too.
I miss Rachel. She is busy with her family. So we don't see eachother too often.
10 years ago I thought my parents were mean, MAKING me do chores, MAKING me babysit, MAKING me keep my room clean. MAKING me go camping when I would have rather stayed home and gone out with friends. I am so grateful I had to do chores. I learned to take care of things. I am so grateful ALL those MANY days of babysitting. I love my brothers and sisters. Loving and nurturing them makes me a better Mother. I am so grateful for all the family trips both big and small we have done together.
I would love to see my dad more than anything today...Or anyday for that matter.
I know someday I will see him in heaven. He will be waiting with his arms wide open. Ready to give me a great big bear hug.
Love you Dad.
I am so grateful for the family and support system that I have. Taylor has been with me through it all. He knows my low points. He knows the look on my face when I am ready to break down. But sometimes he just doesn't understand. Someday he will. I hope that someday is not for a VERY,VERY,VERY long time. His parents have been great. Shellie so caring and loving. Scott said to me the other day "Come talk to me, I am your dad. I can listen just like him". They really do treat me as if i am one of their own. They are great.
My grandparents have been wonderful. I love all my grandparents.
My brothers and sisters. They are all strong people. Dad is proud of each one of them and their accomplishments. And so am I.
My friends have been so great and understanding.
My Heavenly Father has helped me when no one else could. I have relied on him so much. I am beyond grateful for all he has given me. I have learned so much in a short 22 1/2 years on this earth. 5 years ago he taught me how precious life is and how fast it can be taken away. A year ago he showed me how life is brought to this world. Lessons i will never forget. I thank my Heavenly Father daily for each day I have here.
This was the most random post I think i have ever blogged about. I am just really emotional today and Maecie is napping so I thought I would take a few minuets and just blog my heart out. But I can't type anymore because of my uncontrollable tears.
She didn't like sitting on the chairs. She always wanted to stand.
Look at that precious face! She honestly couldn't get any cuter!
Sweet baby girl.
I know everyone always tells us time goes by too quickly! This last year has been the fastest year of my life. I am sure they only get faster as time goes on. I can remember being in the hospital holding Maecie for the first time as if it was yesterday. She has brought so much joy into my life. This year has been full of so many emotions. A year full of first for Taylor and I . Maecie's whole life will be first for Taylor and I. Poor girl is a guinea pig. She has had a terrible cold, but she is finally getting a little better. Dr. Edwards told me she will probably have it for 6 weeks then get better for 2-3 weeks and get the cold again for 6 weeks and then be better for 2-3 weeks before getting it for a third time. He said for some reason most kids that get this cold this year get it three times before feeling much better. I am hoping that won't happen because I have had far too many sleepless nights the last few weeks. Maecie weighs 20 lbs and is 29 1/2 inches tall. She has always been in the 80-90% for height and weight, but at her 1 year appt she is now 25% for weight and 45% for height. CRAZY! She took two steps the other night and continues to just take a couple steps before falling. She is a BIG chicken. She wants to hold my hands to walk but I dont even help her she just needs it for comfort I guess. She will walk when she wants to I suppose.
I will need to go to the Dr. in the next month or so to find out if I will need to have surgery again to have more kids. I can tell the endometriosis has grown back but I just don't know how bad it is. We will just have to see what he says. I am not ready for another baby yet. I'm sure the time will come when I am ready but for now I am content with Little Mae.
We went to St. George for New years with my grandparents, Jason, Jeff, Anna and Jayden.
We had such a great time. I thought the ride would be terrible with Maecie but we took the DVD Player and she Watched Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and slept the whole time. It was wonderful. We did run into a snowstorm on the way down and had to pull over and sleep in a nasty hotel because everything else was full!! Taylo wouldn't let me unpack the car to even get my toothbrush out so I could brush my teeth. He made me wait until we got to grandma and grandpas in St. george. I felt nasty but we survived. We had a great time Shes a cheeser Jayden and Maecie. They were best buddies down there. I have a funny video of Jayden making Maecie laugh I will have to post!
These pictures are out of order but oh well... this girl LOVES books. SHe would look at books for hours upon hours if she could. She's so silly! Barbie 4-wheeler was a big hit. She LOVES her fourwheeler!!
It even has a sippy cup holder!
This was her face the whole time opening gifts. She LOVED all her presents. She was so spoiled. I am pretty sure we own stock in Toys R Us!!! :) This face is so worth it.
She just sticks her finger in the mouth of the sing-a-magig when shes around him...she doesn't quite get him!!
I love santa jammies.
We had a wonderful Chirstmas. Maecie made it so fun. We can't beleive how fast time has gone. On Sunday my little munchkin will be 1. A whole year old. I can still remember how anxious I was that last week I was pregnant with her. Scared, anxious, excited. So many emotions. It's been by far the best year of my life. She brings so much joy to Taylor and I.
